In honor of National Coming Out Day, I thought I would share a little bit about my sexuality. I don’t usually like labels, but for the sake of this article, I’ll be giving the one that most closely represents how I feel, which happens to be pansexual.
I’ve never explicitly stated my sexuality online (and rarely in real life), but it’s not something I’m trying to hide. In fact, I wasn’t aware that I was pansexual until last year. Let me explain.
I’ve known since I was about fourteen that I liked girls, though looking back I definitely had a crush on one of my friends when I was twelve. It was never something that was upsetting or confusing, it was just who I was. It felt normal. Also, on more than one occasion, I have found myself attracted to a person who’s biological sex does not match what they identify as. Once I joined tumblr in about 2012, I started learning all sorts of things, including the fact that there was more than straight, homosexual, and bisexual.
This is when I learned about pansexuality: “sexual attraction, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward people of any sex or gender identity” (thanks google). Upon learning this, I felt a bit of a weight lift from my chest. As I said, I don’t really like labels, but putting a name to how I feel always gives me a sense of calm (I’m not sure why).
Growing up, I never had anyone discriminate against me because of my sexuality, at least not to my face. Even if they had, I couldn’t have cared less. Who are we to judge who another person falls in love with? The worst I have dealt with is reading comments online about how “pansexual people just want to have sex with everyone”. Honestly? REALLY?! That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard, and it isn’t true. I can’t speak for everyone, but I don’t see being pansexual as much different than any other sexuality. I like a person for their thoughts, values, beliefs, sense of humor, or any other reason you would be attracted to someone. The only difference is that I’m fine with any and all genders/gender identities.
Having said that, I know that a lot of people are bullied, and sometimes driven to self harming and suicide because of their sexuality. I find this disgusting, and I still would if I identified as straight, as the majority of the population does.
I have been truly lucky in that I have open minded friends, and a support system to fall back on if I ever get bullied. But not everyone is so lucky. Thank you to all the people out there who support the LGBTQ community. For those of you who don’t, think before you speak. It’s not your place to comment on another person’s sexuality.
Stay wonderful, xox.